Lisa S., story of my life

We often have to struggle through life …

This sentence still accompanies me; it definitely did in the past – thinking of all the barriers I had to break down a few years ago. Looking back in time you can see all that has happened and you have to make the best of it.

It started when I was 15 years old and I fell in love with a boy.
Today I ask myself why I didn’t fall in love with a “good” boy. But back then it had to be someone “cool” and popular. To put it in other words, it had to be someone who attracted attention.

I wasn’t interested in the drugs he took which were “merely” marijuana. And not knowing the drug scene was another reason for not scaring me off.

At some point when I was 16, the boy – who once in a while smoked a joint – and I became an item. We loved each other, obviously, and I got pregnant very soon. I decided to have the child (a healthy and lively boy who is 4 years old today ).

Over the time our relationship problems increased. Dennis’ use of drugs increased, he even took heroin and sometimes cocaine. He also was known to the police. I felt I was stuck in a vicious circle. I was mentally suffering and he was spending more and more money on drugs. Consequently, I saved money wherever possible. I decided not to pay the rent for one month, because I was sure that our landlady would understand the situation. Within a few days I had forgotten all about it as I had to face other problems.

The empty purse deeply depressed me, so I started thinking about breaking up our relationship.

After some weeks we received a letter from the court telling us that Dennis had been charged for theft and drug possession. He went to jail.
Again I fell into a deep hole. In addition, my maternity leave was over and I had to go back to school. After all that had happened, I can’t say that I was motivated.

But looking back, I think this was the best thing that could happen to me, because this kept me diverted and finally I got to spend a lot of time with my friends again.

While I was at school, my son was cared for by a child minder. So in the end I decided to break up with Dennis with the result that he threatened, offended and attacked me. Finally things improved. However, I suffered from mental health problems yet again. But as naïve and silly this might sound, I tried to paper over my depressive feelings by going shopping, telephoning, etc.

First it worked quite well. But then the shock: Everything happened at once! Too high telephone bills, overdrawn bank account, and, and, and …

But the shock didn’t last long: I avoided dealing with my post (and debts) and carried on as if nothing had happened. I turned a blind eye to my problems which helped me feel happy for the moment.
In the end I was under a lot of pressure, debt collectors sent more and more letters.

This was when I decided to take the first step. I looked up all debt counselors and came across the SKM and called them. The man on the phone was very friendly, he asked me to fill in some documents (personal data, income, expenses, and debts). And then it started: I sat down and listed my debts. After that I felt pretty low. But when I recognized that it wasn’t too late and that it was still possible to agree on installment payment, I felt a spark of hope. The useful monthly review of my finances showed me, that I had more money available then I had thought. This must be due to the fact that I had never done a budget and I never knew how much and what I had spent the money on.

With the help of the SKM I’ve learned a lot, for example how to budget my money. It really amazed me to find out that it was actually possible to save money.

Today I can say that the most important thing I’ve learned is not to make any more debts and to be able to keep track of where my money is going. You should never bury your head in the sand, it’s important to accept help if you are not strong enough to get out of this situation on your own. It’s the best way to get out of debts.

Today I’m fine. In 2009 I did my Abitur and have gone to university since then. One thing I’m sure of: The SKM, especially Ms Krings who has cared for me during this year of support, has helped me to lead a well-ordered and debt-free life.
I also learned why it is so important to budget my money. My now debt-free life helps me to keep me on the right track. I can live carefree now, I don’t regret leaving my past behind. But I will always keep this debt thing in the back of my mind so that something like this will never ever happen to me again!